I'm feeling so miserable, i dont know wad is straining our relationship but
somehow it doesnt seem to be right.I dont know how should i put it but i just
feel not right at all. I've been self comforting myself that everythings gonna be
fine and things will go on our way but it seems to be just a dream. I wanted to
see u so much yet our time together is just so short. i know i have to understand
this is not what u want too but when i'm alone lying on my bed those wild thoughts
came into my mind again. And missing someone so badly is really really miserable.
Whats worst is when u are missing him, you cant get to see him, you cant even
hear his voice and what you can only do is to press your handphone get into the
gallery and den there you can see the pictures of both of you smiling happily.
looking so lovely and there goes your tears gushing out, the feeling of missing
someone so much and yet you can't do anything just SUCKS!
FRIDAY;
school ended early at 12.30 so came back home straight away.
came online for a ahwile den den so fast the time was 3.45.
how much i wish the time spent in school can pass that fast too. :)
quickly went to bath cos i know i am gonna be late. i need lots
of time to doll up and stuff. got everything ready at only 4.35.
quicky get out of my house and den took a train down to bugis.
supposed to meet my fren at 5pm but i was late by 20 mins =X
i dont know why but i am ALWAYS LATE! so sorry.
oh well havent seen her for 8 years plus and finally yesterday i got
to meet her wen went to shop around and den headed for dinner.
den shop again. we chat alot about the past. we are getting closer again.=]
Xiao hei; i'm really sorry. i know u were really pissed yesterday and
you need someone there. sorry. i will meet you up soon. really got no
times =X
SATURDAY;
wake up damn early dont know why but i cant sleep the whole night.
decided to meet him for breakfast but he didnt wan to cos he dont eat
breakfast so early.hais... 我只想看你 可是你却不懂我的心。
so didnt meet him and den he have to go back to camp for some
shooting thiny. Stupid SAF why must they burn their Saturdays. fcuk.
went to civic center to change my bank account. currently is under
my passport so i wanna change it to my IC den only i can deposite my cheque.
walk around cwp and i bought a shirt. He booked out at 4 plus so went
down to meet him for lunch. i felt like hugging him tightly telling him how
much i miss him, how much i 've been looking forward to meet him
but there is this very strong feeling which didnt allow me to show my
emotions. didnt want me to show him how much i actually miss him
there i go keeping cool and kept back all those words which i wanted
to tell him and let him know very much. and i missed my chance and
i kept cool all the way till he board the bus and went home den i
started slapping my face asking myself to wake up! but everything
is just too late. thoese words wont come oout anymore all i did was
sobbing in the room... then later the cold war starts again. And my
attitude towards him just SUCKS i must admit. i'm really sorry but
i cant help to do silly things and say all those hurtful words but pls
spare thought for me too. am i happy doing all that?
My feelings for you have never ever ever fade once but it is increasing
every day by day i am sure you know about it, i hope you can see.
When u were sick, u know how i felt? i felt worst than you i can tell you
honestly. i just hope to be by your side everyday and takecare of you
but did you appreciate it? i hope you do. too many things in my mind
that i wish to tell you but i dont know how i shud put it in a way that
we both wont get hurt. well i'll just keep it. hoping everythings gonna be fine.